"The worst thing about living your life filled with bitterness
is that you live your life filled with bitterness."
"You will not be punished for your anger,
you will be punished by your anger."
Buddha
Imagem: A vida é muito curta para você acordar todas as manhãs cheio de arrependimentos. Portanto, ame as pessoas que te tratam bem, perdoe aqueles que não o fazem e acredite que tudo que nos acontece tem uma razão de ser.
Pensamento 1: A pior coisa sobre viver sempre cheio de amarguras é viver sempre cheio de amarguras.
Pensamento 2: Você não será punido por sua raiva, você será punido pela sua raiva.
Photo by: jegustavsen
6 comentários:
sorry, but i cannot keep my mouth shut, can i ask you two questions?
a)"love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don't"
how am i suppose to forgive if the person who treats me bad is not apologizing at all? let me give you an example: lets say i truly love someone, it may not be an ordinary love, and maybe i am not expierienced enough, but still,lets say i love someone, but this person keeps on the one hand letting my love grow and on the other hand hurting me very much, more than i can take and he is not even thinking of to stop hurting me or even apolozing, how shall one forgive, there is noone who feels guilty. do u understand what i mean? its not that i am making fun of buddha, not at all. b)are you female? do you understand why men behave so strange? i have never met a man who did not hurt me much. but this one, the one i told you now, i feel him very close, like a part of me and sometimes i feel him feeling me too but then in the next moment he hurts me more than before.
why is it, that men keep punishing one for things that i have not done. did this ever happen to you and if yes, what is the reason?
am i too curious? is it the aim of a blog to talk to others or not? why did you start this page?if you don't like me asking you questions... sorry, i did not want to disturb you, i thought i could ask advice.
Hi again. Well... you have a very good point. It is very hard to understand the concept of forgiving someone who treats us badly. On the other hand, Buddha did not say that we should stay beside this person and suffer the abuse that's being inflicted upon us. Yes, I am a woman and,yes, I've been through exactly the same situation you described in your post. However, when I fist awoke to my own potential and to the fact that no one, absolutely no one, had any power over me or over my life, that was the moment when I freed myself from such toxic relationships. I don't know if you're familiar with the American psychologist, Dr. Phil McGraw. Well, he once said (and I never forgot) that we teach people how to treat us. There's a vicious cycle of us letting them hurt us and them hurting us over and over again. I think we as women sometimes want to "save" men and show them the light, so to speak. However, no one can "save" another person, do you know what I mean? It's up to each of us, man or woman, to grow and change through life. And when you say that "men keep punishing one for things that i have not done"... well, we have to take another look at this, because, again, as Dr. McGraw says, we always get some kind of payoff from our relationships. Even from the so-called "bad" ones. What is it that makes you attract these men into your life? What is is that prevents you from being in a truly meaningful and healthy relationship. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, for I do not mean to be harsh or cruel. It's just that at one point in my life I felt exactly the way you feel. And I found that the change I needed did not come from any other person in my life. It came from within myself.
Feel free to post any other thoughts you have, or any other questions. I made this page for you, for me, and for anyone who seeks answers to life's mysteries.
Thanks again for your visit and for your contribution.
Vivi
hi
i am always surrounded by such men. it always has been this way.at work, in university, at school, everywhere. i even tried to find these softies who are always kind and always speak in a soft voice and so on, but i found out i don't like them, they remind me too much of my father. here you go, good old freud, i know....i love my father very much but as a partner i don't want a man like him.
my father is a very complicated person who can be very strong to people who don't know him but in fact he is very soft, very sad, and i always felt the need to protect him. from the first day that i can think of. and i start to develop a theory, many men from countrys that have more than 35 degree in summer, turn very weak after the age of 45. no joke! when i see men in italy,spain,greece, i think even in lissabon at the age of my father, they are like him, silent, sometimes sad, sleepy and only with strangers they seem to come in shape again, always busy with their own stuff.
i think this is why i always chose very dominant men and they choose me, because i can imagine them to protect me. the one i told you about, remember? i can imagine him being very possesive,but this does not matter because it means structure. i have no structure, but he has. i want to belong to someone even if it means being owned by someone. i am not one of these modern women. i do what i want whenever i want but when i know there is someone whom i belong to, i love to change almost everything for him. it makes me feel there is someone who watches me and i like that and i want him to feel good. my father always let me do what i want, this also means that you feel like you are falling and noone will catch you.
but i don't like to be hurt on purpose. and he does that. almost 3 years now. maybe he does not even like me. i know almost nothing about him, but i know him. the first time i saw him, i felt seen by him, i felt like, "he is seeing me" the real me, it made me a bit afraid, even. i am sure he did not feel that. strange, isn't it?
i am not very expierienced with men, but i was not always bitter. when i was 17/18/19 i used to trust every body, because i thought everybody is a nice person, why should anybody hurt me, when i hurt noone. i had big fights with my parents, (ja, thats when they tried to protect me, but it was too late, i had no trust in them anymore) and i wanted to build myself a family, strangers whom i love and who would love me. instead it was only abusement in every way, except the physical way.
in my family buddhistic thoughts are wide spread, though noone says it, maybe because they are not informed, i don't know. they always say it is tradition, but never "it is a buddhistic tradition". strange, i know.
but this sentence that everything is suffering and that there is a way out of suffering, and the former lifes of buddha, it impressed me. no matter how you turn it, the way out of suffering is to stop being a human. buddha says you have to stop being attached. so when i stop (even if i could), i am not human anymore. like all religions, they want more than we can do. now you say, my potential is simply low. but what do you think, how many souls are in the pari-nirvana? i don't think many.
everything is suffering, loving somebody too, and hating somebody is suffering too. you know the story with buddha and mara?
now you say there are nice moments in life...>but they only remind you that nothing stays the same.nothing, except the fact that you suffer. you can not even say you want to die, because probably you will forget everything and will be reborn.
i even thought you are him. he is very sensitive too, thats why i thought maybe he owns this page, and he plans everything, thats why i fell in love too, he thinks he can organise everything, this can only be the thought of someone who thinks that everything is moveable. i adore his trust in everything. buddha even says you have to overcome love. he left his wife to find out what death is, and he never came back, did he? no.
we teach how people treat us? yes, maybe true. but is not everything in dialectical way twisted to each other? good/bad,day/night,weak/strong....
most of the time i am weak, but i can turn very strong, and i gues so does he, he can turn very weak too, so where is it, this teaching the other how to treat us? even this is suffering, that the world is so stupid to be always an endless way of up and down. if he treats me well, he will reach a point when he does not treat me well again, so you think it is my fault then, that i did not teach well?
on the other hand, in what i say, there is something wrong. i neither have to power to change anything nor the power to accept anything.
do you have a boyfriend/husband or whatever- i mean did he hurt you and then everything was okay, did he say he did not want to hurt you? is this possible? you read these magazines for women? i sometimes do, they say you should never tell a man everything about you, thats a big mistake. he knows almost everything about me, am i boring now? do you think so too? does your husband know everything about you?
thank you for your answer, i did not expect that.
I read everything you wrote, and I read it all very carefully. I would like to say that I am not a Buddhist per se. I am someone who studies spirituality as a whole. And as such, I would, if I may, advise you to start on a journey of self-discovery. However, I'm not talking about psychology or any other kind of modern medical therapy. I'm talking about spiritual self-discovery. I sense (and I may be wrong, since I don't know you) that you may be going through a cycle of repeated patterns in all your relationships. Not only the one with your father, which seems to affect the way you relate to men in general, but with everyone around you. There's much for you to learn about yourself. And the things I talk about here are not things that you can learn from researching your family history or even your genetic traits. I'm talking about something much deeper and more meaningful than all of your life experiences up until this moment. I do believe in the concept of reincarnation, but not in the Buddhist sense of the word or even the definition of reincarnation made by Alan Kardec (a French writer of spiritual doctrines). I, much like yourself, lived a life of constant longing and constant turmoil - both inner and outer conflict, for many, many years. And I, again, much like yourself, asked many questions that seemed to not have a definite answer. Or at least one that would satisfy me completely. I left all religious thought as a whole, only to come back to it later and with true acceptance for all forms of belief in God. And in the process of doing so, I found out that everything that is right for other people is not necessarily the right thing for me. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I could help you more, in any way possible. But, my dear, only you can help yourself. Because you are the only one who can reach inside yourself and solve all the mysteries surrounding your soul and your present earthly embodiment. Of course you can call upon God, the Universe or whatever you call the eternal force of love and guidance that surrounds us all. But in the end... it's truly up to you to search for and find your true self. And when you do, only when you do, all of these seemingly unsurmountable issues that you seem to be involved in at the moment will dissolve and disappear completely from your life. This I speak from personal experience. It a was very hard, painful and at times desperate search for me. But if I can do it, so can you. May I suggest a few books for you to read? I usually don't do this, but... I sincerely hope that you would read them and that, by doing so, benefit from what the authors have to say. Here we go: 1) MANY LIVES, MANY MASTERS - by Dr. Brian L. Weiss 2) JOURNEY OF SOULS, by Michael Newton 3) DESTINY OF SOULS, also by Michael Newton. 4) And the book that changed my life and that forever changed the way I look at life as a whole and at myself as a perennial seeker: A NEW EARTH, by Eckart Tolle. If you are not able to acquire all of them, I would suggest getting Mr. Tolle's book. This one will change you. And by doing that, will set you free. I hope you are ready to change - as I feel you are by reading your words to me.
Oh, and I am not anyone you know. At least not anyone from your daily interactions. Of that you may be absolutely sure. I truly hope that you do not feel judged or offended by anything I wrote here. And even more so, I hope that you can free yourself from what you now think you are and finally encounter your true essence and the true meaning of your eternal being.
With love,
Vivi
tolle is german. lets see if tolle can set me free.
this is a strange conversation,but nice. i'll tell you what tolle can do with me, when i have finished his book, if u don't mind.
Yes, Mr. Tolle is German. And I believe he can help you find a few things about yourself that you didn't know before. However, don't read the book thinking that the book in and of itself will "set you free," because only you can do that. I will wait for you to finish reading and for your input on what the book has to say. If you're ready, as Eckhart himself will tell you in the first pages of the book, if you're ready... this book may indeed change your life forever.
Some would end a conversation like this by saying "Have fun!" or "enjoy!" I will end it (for now) by saying instead: have a great awakening!! *smiles*
From your fellow truth-seeker from Chicago - USA,
Vivi :)
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